North Korea, Best Korea!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
