Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
