He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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