Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Actions speak louder than pants.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
