Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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