...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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