3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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