new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
