I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
