Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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