omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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