he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
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I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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