as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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