What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
