Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I need to align my fucking chakras
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
