if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Green mimosas i think yes
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
