Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We had to coat check the pizza.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
