He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
