3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
