i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
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I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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