Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
