"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
