Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
