quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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