You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
