Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
