Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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