4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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