Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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