I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
