FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize