In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
