you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize