we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
