i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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