Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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