I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
