I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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