i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
