me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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