All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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