The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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