He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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