Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
