The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
