I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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