the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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