His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
