when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
