used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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