i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
