my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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