You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
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At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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