I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
