well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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