There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
vagina is talking i cant
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
