it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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