After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
