just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
