Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
