i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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