Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
